Rules Are Made To Be Broken

Lately, my weekends have been very different from what I thought they would be at the beginning of this year. One of my New Year’s resolutions was to get out and be more social. Well, I am achieving that goal but in a totally different way than I expected. You see, my new girlfriend has a daughter who plays basketball. The last few weeks she has had tournaments that have taken up the bulk of the weekend. I’m not complaining because it’s been perfect for me. Anybody who knows me will tell you that I’m a basketball junkie and will watch it being played by anyone from little kids to senior citizens. Also, it gives me some good quality time to bond with my girl’s kids. That is something I’ve been very nervous about since the beginning of our relationship.

It used to be a rule of mine to never deal with a woman with kids, especially if the kids were less ten years old. I always felt that if someone (either her or her ex) was trying to get his or her family back together, eventually it was going to happen. As I’ve matured, I have come to the understanding that rules can be bent and broken if we are talking about the right woman. I’ve only dated two women with kids in my entire life. One’s child was off in college so they weren’t in the house. The other had a full-blown teenager who always had an attitude. Neither situation worked out, but it wasn’t because of the kids. I’m at a point now where I don’t mind a woman having kids. As a matter of fact, I kind of like that scenario better. It keeps my mother from asking me when I’m going to give her some grandbabies.

A friend of mine who has kids told me recently that she would disqualify potential guys if they didn’t already have children. She said, “Either they are going to want kids, which I am not able to do, or they are not going to be able to deal with my kids coming first in my life!” I could definitely understand her feelings, but I had to remind her that there are guys out there who will accept the whole package. I may be naïve or just too optimistic, but I truly feel that way. Maybe my current situation has me thinking all family-oriented.

So dear readers….

What are your rules about dating women/men with kids?

If you have kids, have you run into people who were turned off by that?

Do you worry about potential mates not accepting you and your kid(s)?

Let’s discuss….

Vincent Slaughter is a writer and graduate of Morehouse College. Single and living in Atlanta, Georgia, his thoughts on love and relationships are also featured on www.skoolboisplayground.blogspot.com.

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