Urban Thought Collective

On April 6 in Boston, 11 year old Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover took his own life. He committed suicide by hanging himself with an extension cord. The reason he killed himself – he could no longer deal with being teased and called gay at school. And although his mother had repeatedly called his school, New Leadership Charter School, and asked them to intervene, no action was ever taken by teachers or the school’s administration. Exactly ten days later, April 16, in Atlanta, GA another 11 year old took his life. Jaheem Herrera also suffered from anti-gay name calling and bullying at school. He hung himself also.

Neither one of these kids identified as gay. At age eleven they may not have known yet if they were gay. But whether they identified as gay or not, the name-calling and the harassment from their peers took such a toll on these two individuals that they decided they would rather not live anymore than to return to their schools and endure the bullying. Do you know how heavy a burden these kids had to be carrying if they decided it would be easier to take their lives rather than return to a life of harassment and taunting?

Sadly enough many schools will not step up and take appropriate action. Bullying just seems to be an accepted behavior and the victims are expected to just man-up and take it. Well sometimes people get tired of taking it. Ironically last Friday would have been the birthday of Carl Walker-Hoover and it was also the National Day of Silence. The National Day of Silence is a day set aside for students to bring awareness to anti-gay bullying, harassment and name-calling and hopefully bring an end to it.

I have to share my journey with you. You see, I knew I was gay at a very young age. I also knew how I would be treated if people were to find out. So I lived in fear. I was always thinking consciously. Am I effeminate? Am I too flamboyant when I walk? Do I talk with a lisp? Every action I took was calculated because I never wanted to slip up and be called a faggot. But the reality is some effeminate men are very straight and some of the hardest thugs on the planet are same gender loving.

In elementary and high school it’s so important to just fit in. Being different is not always celebrated. It’s increasingly difficult to be gay and a person of color. As a person of color, everyone in your house identifies with you and your struggle. So if you have trouble in school you can always find comfort at home. Your family shares your pain and they are your balm in getting though any issue. However, if you’re gay you carry that burden alone. As you begin to come to terms with your sexuality you usually don’t have anyone to talk with about this.

But the sexual orientation of these kids really is irrelevant. What’s important is perception. The perception is that homosexuality is a very bad thing. It is the worst thing you can call someone young. It is such a powerful insult that the victims of it would rather take their own life than take the harassment. Now I may not be able to change the world but I can paint a picture of what the perfect world would be.

In a perfect world people would not hate me for choosing to live my life authentically and refusing to live a lie to please everyone else. In a perfect world people would not use the Bible as a weapon to endorse those things they want (i.e. slavery, segregation, and women’s inferiority) and to condemn those things they oppose (i.e. homosexuality). In a perfect world homophobia would not exist. And in a perfect world, young Joseph and Jaheem would still be alive because bullying of any type would not be allowed in schools.

Jason Green is the co-founder and facilitator of UGIMA (United Gay Informed Men of Arizona) and a frequent blogger regarding issues impacting the African-American community. His unique perspective on issues affecting the black community will be featured regularly on UrbanThoughtCollective.com. Check out more from Green at his personal blog, The J Spot.