ADVICE/RELATIONSHIPS

JUST DON’T SAY IT

In the 5th grade, the note I passed to Rebekkah Taylor was intercepted because nosey-ass LaShonda McIntyre wanted to know what it said. Yeah, that’s right. I’m naming names! If the term was around back then, she would be what is now known as a hater. This was the moment I feared, the main reason that I had been walking around with this note in my Trapper Keeper for the past two days. The worst thing a boy at McGlone Elementary could do was make a fool of himself in homeroom. Before lunch, the word would have spread throughout the school and either your reputation would be ruined or made. I had seen it happen on more than one occasion. A note is intercepted, the information is spread throughout the school and by lunchtime, there is a whole bunch of pointing and laughing. Especially if was what in my note was seen by the eyes of LaShonda. Never did like that girl.

My note was for Kim Pearson, a very precious ten year-old with high-top jellies, glasses and bangs. I wanted to know if she would be my girl. It had become obvious to me that Kim was feeling me every since Mrs. Henderson placed us in the same math group a couple of weeks prior. A few times, I caught her smiling at me from across the lunch room and she even punched me in the shoulder when I cracked a joke on her fake members only jacket. I was using the preferred method of the time, three boxes; one for yes, one for no, and one for maybe. I never really liked that maybe box. It left too much room for later embarrassment. The type of embarrassment that was awaiting me after my note fell into the hands of the demon seed.

It seems as if most of today’s relationships are in that maybe box. I guess a little embarrassment is not anything compared to a broken heart. Somewhere along the line, putting a title on what you and your “friend” are doing is too much for some. I am not talking about two people who are in the early stages and still feeling each other out. I am talking about those people who are fully into the “relationship” and have developed serious feelings for one another. It is not just the guys who are feeling this way but it seems like a growing number of women that I meet are reluctant to make it “official” with their boo. Do not misunderstand what I am talking about, these folks are still doing all of the things that you do when you are in a relationship. They just aren’t calling it that. Most of the people that I have talked to that refuse to label their relationships will privately admit that they are madly in love. However, some of them will not even verbally admit that to their significant other. Somebody please explain this to me.

I guess there is some mysterious change in the relationship once you start calling it a relationship. It is similar to when you go from shacking up to being husband and wife. Although, I never really understood that one either.

Are you reluctant to put a title on your relationships? Why?

What changes in the relationship once it becomes official?

Let’s discuss…

Vincent Slaughter is writer from Atlanta who describes himself as grown-ass man. loving son. faithful mate. flawed. occasionally funny. southern gentleman. humble, yet cocky. gemini. sometimes selfish. forgiving, but not forgetful. thankful. optimistic. thinker. doer. believer. reader. writer. a work in progress. learner. Above all, human. His thoughts on love and relationships also featured on www.skoolboisplayground.blogspot.com.


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Comments

January 24th, 2009 at 12:51 am SweetSis says:

GREAT TO HAVE YOU BACK VINCENT! YOU WERE MISSED BLACK!

January 24th, 2009 at 12:52 am SweetSis says:

I’ll be official or unofficial, I just wants a good man – lmao!

January 24th, 2009 at 12:31 pm Lakeisha Powell says:

this is too cute

January 24th, 2009 at 12:32 pm 2know2love says:

how are you and the cookie lady??

January 24th, 2009 at 1:01 pm thelma says:

I agree
the older we get the more fearful we become of embarrassment when it should be the other way around. we should just go for it!

January 24th, 2009 at 1:31 pm belly says:

ah i have written many of those notes! the good ole days

January 24th, 2009 at 1:33 pm heatmizer says:

I put a title on my last relationship and it fell apart so I’m thinking from now on ‘intimate friends’ is the only label i’m gonna use damnit

January 24th, 2009 at 2:40 pm Vincent Slaughter says:

SweetSis – Thanks! I missed being here.

2know2love – CL and I are doing just fine. We have our ups and downs but we are still very much in love and together.

thelma – so what makes you afraid when it comes to relationships?

heatmizer – what changed once you put the label on it?

January 25th, 2009 at 12:15 pm chica22 says:

Glad to hear that you and the Cookie Lady are still going strong.

January 25th, 2009 at 9:31 pm norma stanley says:

Vincent…I agree with you. we should just say it. Life and time is too short to play games and we can’t let fear rule us. I’ve noticed from friends who are unwilling to spell it out, tend to lose out and their love finds someone who is willing to do just that. Strange, but true.

January 26th, 2009 at 11:45 am Quiana says:

Trapper Keepers brings back too many memories! Funny stuff. I feel you guys, life is too short to be afraid to approach anything and anyone. “No” is not that hard to take. hell, my creditors tell me that on the regular! LMBAO

January 26th, 2009 at 3:56 pm buttabrown says:

you a sight for sore eyes!

January 26th, 2009 at 5:03 pm Vincent Slaughter says:

Chica – Thanks!
Norma – I notice the same thing but I do know a couple where both parties refuse to put a name on what they are doing. I guess it works for them.
Quiana – So I guess I can’t get that loan from you, huh? LOL
Buttabrown – It’s good to be seen.

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