Urban Thought Collective

I had a dream last night and you know how dreams are. They stretch logic, they’re largely incoherent, but they usually have some sort of story line no matter how twisted. This one was no different, as it moved through the recesses of the far-fetched, in and out of REM-induced introspection, shaken with two parts preposterous, thanks to the pain-killers, and chased down with a couple splashes of sleep deprivation on the rocks. It also had a certain Andre3000 video quality to it, albeit with a Q-tip type story line. It was sort of like a dream sequenced hip-hopera.

It went something like this… to the tune of A Tribe Called Quest’s “Verses from the Abstract…”

I had a dream about my man last night
And my man came by the studio
And his name is…

Soledad O’Brien’s mouth was moving, but her voice sounded strangely like Q-Tip’s. Even she was a bit confused by it, judging by her facial expression.

Barack Obama is in effect, Change is in effect
Joe Bid-awg is in effect
Check it out and give me my ’spect

Now, sounding like her own little chipper self once again, she started in with some questions, although she seemed like she could hardly contain her excitement enough to conduct the interview. “So, Barack, now that 63% of the precincts reporting are projecting you as the winner, tell us how you’re feeling. Has the sheer gravity of the moment hit you yet?”

Barack, ever more presidential with each passing moment, but with a bit more swagger than usual was seated in CNN’s studios talking to Soledad. John King’s red and blue map was looking more like the blue field that the Boise State Broncos play on while Barack, looking like that 25 Coolest Brothas cover from Ebony Magazine, looked into the camera, smiled and started in. This time he, more appropriately, had Q-tip’s voice:

I’m movin, yes I’m groovin ’cause my hands is on the “tiller”
The greatest victory since the Thrilla in Manila
Can’t help bein funky, I’m that funky Harvard brotha
Funky in a sense, but I play the undacova

Soledad: Back when you first won in Iowa, and when you were engaged in that epic battle with Hillary for the nomination and having to endure all the negativity that came out of the GOP convention when Giuliani and all the rest took shots at your involvement with community organizations, could you have ever envisioned that you’d be sitting here tonight under these circumstances?

Once was disparaged, by some NY clown named Rudy
Now I’m the funky Free World Leader, that’s my duty
Haters tend to jock on the style in particular
If you got the ego like Republicans, I’ll get with ya

Meanwhile, Richelle Carey and Donna Brazile were off to the side bobbin’ their heads and doing a little two step and Roland S. Martin was tucked under a fedora two sizes two big, wearing some dark shades and playing a bass, and sounding an awful lot like Ron Carter.

Women love the voice, brothas dig the lyrics
Barack’s the people’s choice, we thrive it for the spirit

Soledad: Your critics said that you lacked experience and expected that their tactics would’ve worn you down by now and insinuated that you had some suspect associations. Do you have anything to say to them now?

If you want to battle, I suggest you check your clock
Your demise is comin up and I want The Man to watch
Be the prime example, I deep instilled the sample
Insignificance, here I’ll place you on the mantle
Born in Hawaii, reside down in Chicago…

Just then Richelle started channeling Vinia Mojica, still doing the two step with Donna Brazile, and singing a background hook, “Oooooh, you know you got it goin’on….and on and on and onnnnnnnnnnnnnn….”

Barack was up and giving shot outs now, mic in his left hand, pointing to the other CNN personalities in the studio with his right…

A-Coop is in the house, Roland S. Martin is in the house
Richelle Carey is in the house, Jack Cafferty is in the house
James Carville is in the house, Rick Sanchez is in the house
John King and Wolfe B., they in the house and Ali Melsh and Betty Nguyen, they in the house

Soledad caught a glimpse of herself in one of the off screen monitors, doing the wop like the girl with all the hair on “Soul Train” used to do, before quickly regaining her composure to get the interview back on track. “So…Barack, what are your plans between now and inauguration day?”

Barack:
I must regroup my thoughts and kick the next ones for my people
Who couldn’t be deceived by McBush’s slice of evil
The world is kinda cold, the rhythm of change is my blanket
Wrap yourself up in it, if you love it, then you’ll thank it
Don’t move to rebuttal, wave your hand for action
Starting January 20th you’ll get more than satisfaction

Soledad: Do you feel that your task was made more difficult by the ugliness and increased racial tensions that have surfaced in these last days leading up to the election? How do you plan to address this?

Barack:
The thing that men and women need to do is stick together
Progressions can’t be made if we’re separate forever

Soledad nodded her approval as Barack continued…

People tend to riff ’cause they don’t know the mental
People tend to bug ’cause their heads are hard but simple

Soledad: As you prepare to take office, do you still plan to make good on your promise to meet with other world leaders without pre-condition?

Barack:
comin to the White House of the jazz, of the funk, of the rhythm
All the goods are welcome, but if you’re a villain
I’ll just wait and debate, contemplate your arrival
If flexin is your motive, then you don’t like survival

At this point, the studio audience had spilled out of their seats and formed a “Soul Train” line, complete with somebody doing the bump, and the obligatory cat doing the robot. Somehow, everyone who’s anybody was in the studio (it’s a dream, remember!?) and Barack stood up now to finish his shot outs, walking around to dap people up as he made his way through the crowd.

Oprah is in the house, Chris Rock is in the house
Samuel L. is in the house, Ebony Mag is in the house
Bob De Niro is in the house, Big Colin Powell is in the house
Brad Pitt is in the house, Matt Damon is in the house

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…
This one goes out to my wife
Thanks alot Michelle LaVaughn on the case
Yes my wife Michelle LaVaughn is on the case…

[Start your fade here]

Destah Owens is a single father of two from Northern California and proud UCLA Bruin who travels the world for his job as a computer engineer. His blog, “Soufflés in Saigon,” is exclusive to Urban Thought Collective.