ADVICE/RELATIONSHIPS

KICKING GAME

It was 8:15 AM. I was already fifteen minutes late for my eight o’clock class. This would be my third tardy in the last two weeks. The professor had given me that “you might as well go ahead and drop cause you aren’t passing my class” looks the last time I strolled in halfway through her calling the roll. I was well aware of all that but I couldn’t help myself. I had to stop and talk to The Golden Child. It’s not everyday that a brother gets an opportunity to speak to a goddess. She was on her way to another class in the same building but didn’t seem to be in any rush to get there.

Maybe being fashionably late was her style too. Her name was Tori; she was from Philly, a junior finance major, Delta, and easily the most beautiful woman on campus. I don’t think all the brothers called her The Golden Child. That was the nickname that my roommates and I had given her freshman year when she strolled into our lives for the first time. Anyway, here I am face to face with her trying to think of something clever to say. This might be my only chance. So what do I say?

“I guess when you are that fine, the professor starts class when you get there, huh?”

Her reply:

“I know you aren’t trying to kick it to me this early in the damn morning!”

Uh…..Yeah! What’s wrong with that?

In recent months, I have had a couple of female friends tell me stories about being approached on their way to work or after an early morning workout at the gym. Each of them was appalled that a man would try to spit game at such an hour. My reply was “he felt like that was his one shot. How is he going to just let you walk by and not say anything?” Neither of them really appreciated that answer.

Around the same time, I witnessed a young brother getting shut down after trying to holla at very attractive business woman on the street. The brother was in his mid 20’s, wearing baggy jeans and one of those tight bedazzled t-shirts that for some reason has become popular lately. She was in her mid 30’s, wearing a business suit looking like a young Oprah in training. I think if he had caught her at the bar during Happy Hour, he would have had a better chance. It also would have helped if he didn’t start the conversation off with “Hey shawty! You look smart. Where you work at?”

Believe me, I’m no expert, but it seems like most guys don’t know how to approach a woman. I decided to do an impromptu survey of some of the single women in my address book and ask them how they want to be approached.

Top five replies:

1. He should say something funny
2. He should say something clever
3. He should say something funny followed by something clever
4. A simple “Hi! My name is” will do
5. Anything that I haven’t heard before will work

Let’s discuss…

Ladies, what should I guy know before approaching you?

What’s the cheesiest line that ever worked on you?

What’s the worst line you ever heard?

Brothers, do you have premeditated lines ready for the next woman you see?

Vincent Slaughter is writer from Atlanta who describes himself as grown-ass man. loving son. faithful mate. flawed. occasionally funny. southern gentleman. humble, yet cocky. gemini. sometimes selfish. forgiving, but not forgetful. thankful. optimistic. thinker. doer. believer. reader. writer. a work in progress. learner. Above all, human. His thoughts on love and relationships also featured on www.skoolboisplayground.blogspot.com.


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Comments

August 26th, 2008 at 10:01 pm SweetSis says:

Worst line: Why you not smilin? UGH!

August 26th, 2008 at 10:39 pm Ed80 says:

CLASSIC
“Hey shawty! You look smart. Where you work at?”
HAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

August 26th, 2008 at 10:52 pm thelma says:

I think an honest gentlemanly approach should just be a rule of thumb. This is kindergarten 101 manners here guys. Or as they say, come correct!

August 26th, 2008 at 11:05 pm 2know2love says:

“You look smart?”
Ohh. That’s a stinker.

August 26th, 2008 at 11:26 pm just2bee says:

she must have been fierce!

August 26th, 2008 at 11:45 pm culturepop says:

Spillin state secrets up in here again I see

August 26th, 2008 at 11:56 pm Diane Brown says:

In the grocery store: Are you shopping for one or two?

August 27th, 2008 at 12:09 am heatmizer says:

Oh I could go on and on about some crazy lines ya’ll. But I’m gonna go with “How much to get your hair and nails done? I’ll do it for you every week baby.”

I was speechless! Trust me fellas, stick with name and rank.

August 27th, 2008 at 6:23 am Diallo Tyson says:

What if a guy kicks a real cheesy line, but does it with a wink? Like, I know this is mad corny but I’m trying to make you laugh. Or are you ladies strictly lactose intolerant, no matter the intent? lol

August 27th, 2008 at 6:31 am nicq says:

Lol a personal fav. of mine to get em smiling is…”excuse me miss, do i have something in my teeth bcuz i saw you looking at me from afar”

August 27th, 2008 at 8:49 am Mr.Fantastic says:

I honestly believe in approaching a young woman with all due respect. I JUST INTRODUCE MYSELF APPROPRIATELY. Ask her name. START RANDOM CONVO. Then exchange numbers. Ya Feel me ppl? dont be to difficult!

August 27th, 2008 at 8:58 am lilmamma86 says:

Im feeling that Mr.Fantastic…i like when a dude come correct at me. I hate them played out lines like…”You got a mirror in jeans girl, cuz i see me inside em.” I be like boy stop, I can barely fit in my jeans how are you? OKAY!!!!!!!!! lol

August 27th, 2008 at 9:26 am Jessica Hubbard says:

Funny is good but its a fine line between that and pure cheese

August 27th, 2008 at 10:27 am Stephanie says:

I vote for the Hi My name is?

August 27th, 2008 at 12:00 pm Jane Kennedy says:

Be yourself!

August 27th, 2008 at 12:04 pm Krista Wills says:

This is a good one. I would say honest is the best policy but sometimes it just ain’t! Its a case by case basis. A woman knows immediately if she’s is interested so the lines are just a formality

August 27th, 2008 at 12:16 pm Tina says:

Funny and clever all at the intro maybe too much to ask. How about being respectful and normal? That works for me.

August 27th, 2008 at 12:21 pm culturepop says:

All these ladies in here saying to be yourself know they a lie! Guys don’t believe it!

August 27th, 2008 at 12:25 pm Conrad Sharpe says:

Man, those tired lines are out like bell bottoms.

Its all about being an old school gentleman!

August 27th, 2008 at 12:25 pm pmatters says:

Your right culture pop cause sometime being your self gets you the “Hey shawty, where you work at?” So if that is you being yourself be someone else just for a moment.

August 27th, 2008 at 1:59 pm doumind says:

hello, how are you?

is that so hard?

August 27th, 2008 at 3:09 pm heatmizer says:

lol@lilmamma - that’s a crazy one too!

August 27th, 2008 at 5:20 pm Destah Owens says:

@Diallo and nicq: LMAO. Lactose intolerant…gotta love it.

Hate it or love it, I’m strictly a “hi my name is…” kinda cat. Culture pop is right, that hardly ever works, but that’s what I come with.

August 27th, 2008 at 10:56 pm ratty says:

Not bad Nicq, Mr. Fantastic, Conrad and Destah - That’ll work!