POLITICS

Jesse, If You Don’t Have
Anything Nice To Say…

by ReNina Minter on Jul 11, 2008

Jesse, Jesse, Jesse. What were you thinking? The other day our “Beloved” Black Leader, Mr. Jesse Jackson unconsciously put his foot in his mouth. While waiting for an interview with Fox News, Jackson was unaware that he was being recorded on a “hot mic.” He said, “I wanna cut his [Barack Obama’s] nuts out/off.” Sounds pretty close to castration to me. Unacceptable!

The recording was going to be aired on Bill O’Reilly’s show when Jackson apologized. He issued a statement saying, “For any harm or hurt that this hot mic conversation may have caused, I apologize.” He also had a lapse in memory because he couldn’t recall all that he had said, but knew it occurred while making another comment about Obama, “talking down” to church goers.

Well, isn’t that nice. Jackson apologized. Well, I say that’s not good enough.

Sometimes an apology just isn’t enough, especially when there seems to be a pattern of poor behavior. Stop apologizing and change the behavior.

If you will recall, Jackson, who claims to support Obama, was also reported to have said that Barack was, “acting like he is White.” Now this all seems a bit contradictory. How can you truly support someone, but have so much negative stuff to say about them behind their back? How about … be consistent as a human being. How about … be the same in a person’s face as you are behind their back. How about … try to stop doing and saying things that you need to apologize for.

Truth Be Told …We could all learn something from Jackson’s little “miss-speak”.

I often see this in my everyday life among friends and even family. People smile in someone’s face and AS SOON as they turn their back or walk away they talk “bad” about them. I think on so many levels it speaks to a lack of integrity.

I say that we all need to make sure that we aren’t behaving in this ugly and unnecessary manner.

My mother taught me that if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all. My father taught me to always speak the truth.

I now believe that there is a way to speak the truth and find a kind way to say it. But if you want to say something about someone you need to have enough courage to say it to their face. You can have an opinion, but if it involves something hurtful or harmful then maybe you need to check yourself and keep it to yourself.

I say we ALL start today being consistent human beings who speak the truth with integrity.

Who’s with me?

Remember…It’s Always Love.

ReNina Minter is a former elementary school teacher who followed her passion and earned a Masters in Clinical Psychology. Minter is now a Certified Life Coach. Check out her website at www.CoachReNina.com. Her editorials are exclusive to Urban Thought Collective.


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Comments

July 11th, 2008 at 11:54 pm Elsa Harkins says:

Seems to contradict something you wrote a while back but okay if you say so.
July 12th, 2008 at 2:33 am StillIRise says:

As someone who often sticks my foot in my mouth unintentionally, I heartily agree with everything you write here.
July 12th, 2008 at 3:34 am RedRzr says:

GOOD WORDS
“Stop apologizing and change the behavior.” - Renina Minter
July 12th, 2008 at 10:13 am Jaime Sez says:

i’m with you renina.
that’s real talk.
getting back to the basics.
very necessary.
July 12th, 2008 at 10:22 am RitaR says:

I second that motion.
July 12th, 2008 at 10:28 am ReNina Minter says:

Elsa,
No contradictions. I have written before in “Speak at Your Own Risk” the importance of speaking the truth, but in a gentle way. Same message here.
July 12th, 2008 at 11:29 am Najee Ali says:

I co-sign with you ReNina. What people missed about Jesse is his own son threw him under the bus! Denouncing him with his press statement.I could never diss my parents like that. Something going on in that Jackson household. They need Coach ReNina (:
July 12th, 2008 at 11:51 am hisherness says:

if you can’t say something nice, recite an innocuous phrase…
…
if you can’t say something nice, recite an innocuous phrase…
…
if you can’t say something nice, recite an innocuous phrase…
…
July 12th, 2008 at 12:08 pm RETHINK RENINA says:

renina may 21/
“We have all been present when someone says or does something and there is an obese pause, not pregnant, but truly obese. That person is oblivious. Everyone is thinking variations of, “what the hell did he/she just say…no he/she didn’t…I can’t believe this fool.” Everyone is waiting for someone to say something, but no one has the energy to respond because it seems it would not make a difference.

I think it might. I love to be present in that moment. It is an opportunity to save this person from their ignorance, and to save others from their inappropriate behavior.

Please don’t allow your friends, family and significant others to torture the rest of the world with their ignorant ways any longer.

It is ignornace (lack of knowledge) to believe that I will remain silent in the face of rudeness and disrespect.”
July 12th, 2008 at 12:08 pm RETHINK RENINA says:

renina today/
“You can have an opinion, but if it involves something hurtful or harmful then maybe you need to check yourself and keep it to yourself.”
July 12th, 2008 at 12:21 pm Ed80 says:

ouch
July 12th, 2008 at 12:36 pm ReNina Minter says:

Rethink Renina…Love the name by the way. My first anonymous blog comment…oh I feel so special. LOL. I appreciate you making my job a little easier. I didn’t want to have to cut and paste, so thanks. Again my argument is the same. If you will recall I also said that “I inform him in a gentle way, that he was rude.” and I said “You can have an opinion, but if it involves something hurtful or harmful then maybe you need to check yourself and keep it to yourself.” I made a decision in the blog that you are referring to, to stand up for myself to someone who was being rude TO ME and others. I was neither hurtful nor harmful. There is a huge difference between talking about someone behind their back and standing up for yourself to a person’s face. : )
July 12th, 2008 at 2:59 pm wallruss says:

I don’t think you always have to say things nicely but I do think you should stand by what you say or make a sincere apology. For people in the public eye this is obviously even more necessary.
July 13th, 2008 at 12:37 am Dee says:

This entire topic boils my blood. First of all, what Jesse Jackson has done, in my opinion, is “player-hate” a brotha [Obama] and it is ashame that Jesse would claim to not know the “hot mic” was on; knowing he’s been in this game forever. Regardless whether the mic was on or off, the statement should have NEVER been made as it is one brotha attacking another especially at a time like this [running for Presidency]. I think the apology was for “face” and not sincere @ all because to make a comment about cutting one’s “balls/nuts” off is VERY PERSONAL, if you ask me. Further, ReNina’s statement is TRUE, if you cannot stand up for what you’re saying about a person TO THEIR FACE, then don’t be a PUNK and say it behind their backs….and when you get “caught”, you’re looking like a damn fool.
July 13th, 2008 at 2:44 am Ginger says:

to hisherness: i agree lol
to walruss: in agreement.
to rethink renina: get a life
to renina: keep truckin.
July 13th, 2008 at 12:42 pm Najee Ali says:

@Ginger…Ouch.lol
July 13th, 2008 at 6:23 pm Chatty Cathy says:

I see Elsa and Rethinks point but am not a Renina hater like some on this site tend to be. Yes I think she was abrasive in that one blog comment when she called people ignorant here. Didn’t make a whole lot of supporters by downgrading us. But still all in all I think she has some decent ideas and everybody speaks out of line sometime. Even though she die before admitting it I can see past it and keep reading her stuff without jumping on the contradictions cause lest the who ain’t sinned throw the 1st stone.
July 13th, 2008 at 8:41 pm Najee Ali says:

@Chatty Cathy,Its interesting see our UTC Community grow and develop with personalitys developing. I try to see the good in everybody, With Elsa she checked Darryl Bell a little on my blog lol and I said to myself ouch.

But the blessing is with Elsa she at least read and retained what Renina wrote and were all talking about it. I have actually spoken to Renina a few times now off-line, so i know she didnt mean no harm her heart is in the right place,
July 14th, 2008 at 1:05 am ReNina Minter says:

@Chatty Cathy…For the record and hopefully for the last time…
I really thought that I cleared up everything from the blog SPEAK AT YOUR OWN RISK when I wrote the blog YOU SAY POTATO…

I wrote:
“The word “ignorant” seemed to get people’s panties/underwear in a bunch last week. I used it in my blog ONLY in reference to the man in which I had the encounter at my training, but yet I was misunderstood (in meaning and context). He and anyone else that decides to be rude to me is ignorant (lacking knowledge about ME/unaware) of the fact that rudeness toward me is unacceptable and I will not remain silent.”

My use of the word ignorant, the way I was taught, meant “lacking knowledge about something”. The context in which I use the word is neither hurtful nor harmful. I have said that nobody knows everything. We are all ignorant to something (me- physics, calculus… I could go on). Again this debate is just a matter of semantics (the meanings of words).

I did NOT call the readers ignorant. My use of the word ignorant, toward the man from my training only, was misunderstood. My intention was to make a point, not to offend UTC. I respect (there goes that word from Najee’s blog) and appreciate all of the different opinions: Elsa’s, Chatty Kathy’s, Chica22’s and even my new favorite Rethink Renina.

My intention is only to create a forum where we can all think critically (especially me), have our voices heard, and have truthful dialogue. It was not my intention to offend anyone in any way. Hopefully we can move on from this point. I am always trying to come from a place of love and that is why I end my blog the same way every week…Remember It’s Always Love.

Oh and Brother Najee-much respect.
July 14th, 2008 at 5:54 am CeaseNYC says:

I predict Jesse starts to retire like in th enext year or somethin. Ain’t he like 70 or somethin anyway.
July 14th, 2008 at 7:18 am higha love says:

i agree i was really shocked by him comments at first, then i realized he is just being an old koot
July 14th, 2008 at 9:25 am lolalove says:

we could all use a little more compassion
July 14th, 2008 at 12:59 pm thelma says:

There is a lesson in everything adn even this mess has something we can learn from - good point
July 14th, 2008 at 7:21 pm Kettle Blk says:

This is the best part: Sometimes an apology just isn’t enough, especially when there seems to be a pattern of poor behavior. Stop apologizing and change the behavior.

So true! Its a process but worth doing
July 14th, 2008 at 8:51 pm Torian Salary says:

Well put, my mom told me the same thing. And I turned out pretty well, LOL. Nice blog ReNina

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