Urban Thought Collective

I remember being in middle school when something interesting started to happen to me. When I would meet people, I’d hear this voice that would let me know if it was cool to be around them or not. This was the first time I became aware of my intuition.

It was a confusing time for me because I had no guidance on how to handle it or even cultivate it. I wasn’t in an environment that talked about intuition. I didn’t even know that it was God communicating with me. I had no idea.

There was a time when I stopped listening to that still small voice and cut off the feeling of knowingness because it scared me. Whenever I didn’t listen to it and did my own thing, I always regretted it. I know you all can relate. This went on for years. By my senior year in high school, the voice and feeling refused to be ignored.

It was guiding me to move to Atlanta. I knew this with clarity because it went from an inner happening to showing up in my world. Along with the voice and the feeling saying, “move to Atlanta,” I would pick up a magazine that had an article about Atlanta in it. I’d talk to a friend and they’d mention Atlanta. I’d watch TV and something about Atlanta would come on. This went on for a couple weeks before I silently agreed. To be honest, it wasn’t that hard of a decision, since my high school sweetheart was planning to attend Morehouse. I figured at least he would be there. But I knew my moving to Atlanta was about something bigger. Unfortunately, the voice didn’t give me the details. I just knew I had to go. It took me two years to get here. I moved the summer of 1994. I remember being on a plane with my laundry bag full of clothes stuffed under my seat and looking out the window thinking, “Oh my God.”

This was a defining moment in my life, because when I decided to follow my intuition to move to Atlanta, I unknowingly aligned myself with my purpose. Yes, it has taken 14 years for it to unravel, but it in that time, I have gained a sense of self-awareness, confidence, strength, courage, and more importantly, a deeper connection with God. I have shed the layers of who I thought I was supposed to be, who my family wanted me to be and allowed God to guide me into who I am. About a month ago, I realized that I left that space of uncertainty and am now walking in my purpose. It is truly a blessing and honor. But please believe, it’s still a journey.

I am sharing this because I want everyone to feel the same joy that I feel on a daily basis. And I believe its right there in front of you. You just have to listen to your intuition. I believe listening to our intuition, the voice of God, will not only lead us to our life’s purpose, but also help heal our community and ourselves. I believe we must focus on strengthening our awareness of the voice and its guidance and become masters of obedience.

I will say it took me years and years to get to the point where I listen if the voice says, “don’t befriend that person.’ I kid you not, every single time I made excuses like, “oh, I can’t judge them” or “they don’t seem bad,” that person ends up showing their true colors. It never fails. So now I’m training myself to listen to the voice on everything: buy this bag of grapes, use this bathroom stall, walk down this street, call this bill collector and say this to them, write this in the blog, etc.

And it gets deeper. For instance, when the still small voice told me in 2003 to quit my job. I was standing at the top of Table Mountain in South Africa. The voice had been telling me to quit for at least a year. I knew it was time to move on, but I was too scared. And I was so busy working like a Hebrew slave I could barely hear the voice. But it’s always there. That day, my group and I were mesmerized by the Indian Ocean and enfolded in the absolute peace that was all around us. I remember trying to see beyond the water when I heard it. It was a calm, clear command. It was loving, and it made me feel secure. I silently agreed again. I quit two months later with no job lined up, but I felt so free. I was so happy to get out of that ‘sweatshop’ I didn’t care what happened. I just told myself that God told me to quit, so I’ll be alright. I used that time to start rewriting my book. Within a week I had a job I liked paying me more money and working from home. It pays to listen.

This isn’t what I intended to write, but I’m learning everything has a divine path. And since my physical eye can’t see what God’s plans are, I just need to do what I’m told with confidence, knowing that it’s for the greatest and highest good of us all. I’m finding that the key is to know the difference between the voice of God and the voice of fear. Fear is that voice that says, “I can’t do that, I got bills. I got this responsibility and that responsibility. I gotta be realistic!” I’ve learned (and am still learning) that being “realistic” robs me of miracles.

Going to South Africa was a miracle. I prayed an unwavering prayer in November 2002 for that trip and found out that I was going (all expenses paid) in January 2003. I left at the end of February for two-and-one-half weeks. Little did I know that God put it in my former boss’s heart to set the trip up for me. I had no idea. The only thing the voice told me to do was believe. And I did. I have so many examples of blessings coming into my life because of listening to the voice. I also have stories, plenty of stories, about when I didn’t listen and how I got myself into unnecessary situations. I know you all do too!!!

I am dreaming of a day when we all listen to our intuition without question, understanding that it is always, always guiding us to the gifts that God has for us in this life.

Envisioning you with much love, light and fulfillment. See you next week.

Yaminah Ahmad is editor-in-chief of The Atlanta Voice and contributing editor to Collective Voices, a newspaper published by the non-profit, SisterSong: Women of Color Reproductive Health Collective. More information on the group can be found at www.sistersong.net. Ahmad can be reached at missyaminah@gmail.com.