Urban Thought Collective

Recently, I got an email from a female friend from my past. It was a total surprise to hear from her because it had been well over ten years since we had talked. For some reason, she decided to Google my name one day and came across my blog here on UTC. Before sending me the email, she took the time to read all the archives from this blog as well as my personal blog. I know this because she admitted as much when she asked me, “How come you haven’t written anything about me?” Oh boy! I reveal some embarrassing tidbits about my life in my writing, but there are some things that I purposely haven’t included. One of those things is a love triangle that I was involved in when I was a younger man. Yes, I said love triangle. Boy loves two girls. Girls love boy. Boy must make a choice.

In my defense, I have to say that I was not trying to be a player or trying to see how many women I could attract. Matter of fact, I was full of nervous energy, insecurities, shyness and naivety. The kind of guy who can never relax enough to have fun and enjoy life. The idea of any woman (more less two) being attracted to me was novel. You would think it would be a happy time for me, right? Wrong! I have never been so stressed in my life.

Let’s start from the beginning. I was casually dating Number #1 when I met Number #2. #1 was the type that everybody thought was perfect. Popular on campus, graduating with honors, involved, responsible. She was a good catch. If I didn’t want her, there was a line of brothers trying to put their name on it. I thought she and I had a connection that was magical, but she was recovering from a broken heart and not ready to jump back into a relationship right away. That is when Number #2 comes into the picture. Fellas, you ever meet a woman that you wanted to get next to because she had that something? Whatever it was, she definitely had it and I wanted to experience it.

At that point in my life, I had never really pursued any woman. Either she was feelin’ me or she wasn’t. Number #2 thought I was a nice guy but she wasn’t really into me like that. So I did what most lame dudes do, I played the friend role and hoped and prayed that she would one day show some real interest. Like many women, she found it easy to confide in me about her other relationship issues. I was always a sympathetic ear or an available sounding board. Because we were friends, she was well aware of Number #1. Somewhere along the way we became more than friends. Connection was explosive.

For almost a year I was seeing them both. Best of both worlds. Damn near ready to have a stroke. I knew that I had to make a decision, neither woman would be happy with a half-assed relationship. Don’t worry. I was soon confronted with an ultimatum. Number #2 wasn’t satisfied coming off the bench. She wanted to start or be traded. I decided to trade her. With my newly gained self-confidence, I put the full court press on Number #1. We eventually got married and lived happily for a while before getting divorced. I don’t regret the way things went down. Learned some valuable lessons. It definitely ruined me from ever wanting to be a player. One woman is plenty for me. I still think I made the best decision for me. However, that hasn’t stopped me from wondering how my life would have changed if I had made another decision.

So my dear readers….

Have you ever been caught in a love triangle?

Do you think it’s possible to love two people at the same time?

Ever think you chose the wrong person?

Let’s discuss…

Vincent Slaughter is a writer and graduate of Morehouse College. Single and living in Atlanta, Georgia, his thoughts on love and relationships are also featured on www.skoolboisplayground.blogspot.com.