Urban Thought Collective

I’m sorry ladies, but Hillary Clinton’s recent antics (the thinly veiled reference to RFK’s June assassination and her refusing to concede a race she has so clearly lost) have me so fired up, I’m taking it out on all ya’ll. She, and I’m sad to say some of you, have me almost embarrassed to call myself woman.

We proclaim ourselves to be the better, smarter sex and then we pull stupid stunts. Like knowingly sleeping with married men. If that’s not bad enough, after doing the dirt, we want to sweep it under the man’s feet as if he alone made it.

Yes, men should stop calling us “bitches and hos” but some of us are bitches and hos. Any random episode of Jerry Springer proves that. Forgive me, but any woman who does not who her baby daddy is, is a ho. We’re only fertile for what? Two, three days out of the month? I’m not suggesting you close down shop entirely, but can you limit the traffic flow for the 72 hours you’re ovulating?

We knock rappers to kingdom come about their sexually explicit videos, but you know what? No one is holding a gun to these girls’ heads or their jiggling booties. Those babes are VOLUNTARILY dropping it like it’s hot all over the place. A C-note says a casting call asking women to come in a bikini or a nun’s habit will find 97 out of 100 will show up in a thong while three opt for the habit (all promptly dropped to the floor once the cameras start rolling, revealing the tiniest g-strings you ever did see). Call me Judas, but we can’t blame rappers for that.

Yes, I’m on a soapbox and I apologize for making a few broad accusations, but some of us are trying to have our cake and eat it too and I’m hear to tell you, it’s all empty calories. Worse than that, it’s making those of us who understand and play by the rules look bad.

It is not okay to walk out of the house half naked, hit the club practically simulating sex on the dancefloor with a man we don’t know, and then go ballistic when he cops an albeit inappropriate - but somewhat understandable - feel. Anyone who interprets this as me suggesting women who wear short skirts deserve to get raped is dumber than the dirt. I’m asking women to own up. A woman who screams and cries “No” as you violently force yourself on her, means it. A woman who bumps and grinds her booty up against your Johnson through an entire R. Kelly song could mean anything. Understand I’m not co-signing the right to a free grope. I’m just saying I can see where the supposed lesser, dumber sex could get confused.

As for those of you women out there bedding down with a trifling fool who can’t keep a job, much less his word, don’t act surprised when the boy continues being who he is after the baby comes. I am not defending men who punk out on child support (they’re an embarrassment to humanity), but it is a rare man who is the perfect boyfriend and suddenly becomes a jackass when his child is born.

You knew he was no good from jump and the second you decided to bring his child into the world (you may not have a say in the conception, but pregnancy is a choice), you signed on for all the drama that follows. Not saying you deserve it, but can we at least admit you should’ve seen it coming?

How does that song go, “I am woman hear me roar?” Kind of hard to do in four inch heels, hanging upside down with your leg wrapped around a pool and a dollar bill stuffed in your who-ha. I’m not dogging strippers, I’m not, there are worse things a person can do with their life. But it’s like I looked up one day and stripping became the job to have. Yes, rap videos once again play a part, as do Hollywood and Madison Avenue (all arguably ruled by men). But somewhere in there, as tough as it is to hear, we as mothers and sisters have failed to remind each other that we are better than that. Smarter than that.

They say, “when you know better, you do better.” Well, if we really are the better, smarter sex, it’s high time we “man up” and start acting like it.

That goes double for you, Hillary.

Tamara T. Gregory is a writer/producer/traveler. Happily single (yes, there really is such a thing), she is an expert on the dating game. Her debut novel, Passport Diaries, is an LA Times bestseller and is soon to become a Hollywood motion picture. The book is available at www.passportdiaries.com. Gregory’s X…WHY blog is exclusive to Urban Thought Collective.