HUMOR/LIFESTYLE/TRAVEL

Columbian Cargo:
Bogota, Here I Come

Much of what I know about Colombia I learned from reputable sources like that Al Pacino classic, CNN, and Nas. From them, I’ve learned about cartels, tragic futbol stars, and such luminaries as Pablo Escobar. Although I’ve been in and around that region of Latin America several times, I’m probably not very different from many of you in this respect.

The other day, I found out that I’ll be heading there (in fact, I may be on a plane for Bogota as you’re reading this), and upon sharing that news with friends and co-workers alike, I received uncannily similar responses from each.

”Is it safe?” from my boss, whom I spoke to by phone as he was traveling in Istanbul.

”Whoa! Are there armed guards at the site?” from my co-worker who covers Europe.

”You got a gun? Do you know how to use a gun? Well…not that you can get it on the plane…,” from a friend of mine that first slapped the Blaxican moniker on me back in college.

”What kinda business are you REALLY in?” This from my trainer at the gym, with a skeptical grin.

With the exception of my boss, whom I couldn’t see over the phone, each of them also made a face that you might make when, after running into the parent of one of your childhood friends at the grocery store and asking ”What’s Mike doing these days?” (to which they reply, ”20 years, but he might get out early for good behavior…”), the best you can muster is ”well, um, tell him I said ‘hey’,” then contort your face and try not to make eye contact again, praying that the checker will hurry up.

“Good luck,” is what most of them said as we wrapped up the small talk, although I think they wanted to say “be careful” or “come back alive.” I’m not going off to war, just Colombia. So what if the government has been engaged in conflict with left-wing insurgents and illegal right-wing paramilitaries for years? President Alvaro Uribe reportedly has this under wraps, keeping most of the conflicts confined to the countryside and out of the main commercial centers since taking office in 2002.

Kidnappings are down from a reported 3,700 in 2000 to a “mere” 800 in 2007. As a result, tourism increased in 2006 by some 50%, helping to boost the country’s economy. In fact, “The Lonely Planet” website listed Colombia as one of their top 10 world destinations in 2006. Hey, Colombia is hot!

Also helping to boost that economy is the controversial “Democratic” Security Policy which counts “protecting the population through the increase of State presence and a reduction in violence” as well as “destroying the illegal drug trade in Colombia to eliminate the revenues which finance terrorism and generate corruption and crime” among its charters, stated oh so eloquently for public consumption.

In other words, President Uribe is layin’ the smack down. Depending on whose figures you believe, there seem to be tangible numbers that suggest that the amount of mature coca plants available to be cultivated for the production of cocaine has been dramatically reduced over the past 6 years, thus reducing the overall drug trade. Not coincidentally, according to their studies, violence has decreased. Never mind the detractors of this policy citing major human rights violations being perpetrated, as rumored military massacres still occur and that herbicides being used to eradicate the coca crop are “potentially” very harmful to people as well.

I’m not going to dwell on that kind of stuff. I’m here on business. High-tech business. Really! So what if the most notable people I’ve heard of from there are Shakira, Sofia Vergara (so talented, those two…), Carlos Valderamma (futbol player with all the hair), and good ol’ El Padrino (Escobar). One thing I didn’t realize was that Escobar actually held an elected office (Deputy/Alternate Representative of the Chamber of Representatives), and at one time was declared the 7th richest man in the world by Forbes. His Medellin Cartel was reportedly bringing in thirty billion a year and controlling 80% of the world’s cocaine market. Consider that last year’s Gross Domestic Product for Colombia was $156 billion, and you begin to realize the magnitude of this cat within that country. I know, you thought that Juan Valdez and his little burro were keeping things afloat with the coffee, but Starbucks’ finest only accounts for 6.25%. I digress.

I said I wasn’t going to dwell on all of that. Why make a big deal out of the fact that, with the exception of the capital city of Bogota and maybe Santander, all of the other cities ring a bell for me only because Tony Montana went there or because there’s a famous, or infamous, cartel associated with them (Medellin, Cali, Cartagena, Barranquilla)? A lot of places get stuck with a bad rap due to all sorts of cultural biases. It may very well be a lovely little country, dragged down by the media in an effort to besmirch another nation of color. We shall see.

I’m going to try to do what I do in these places and soak up plenty of whatever it is that Bogota has to offer. With any luck, I’ll stumble upon some colorful character in a seldom visited part of town that will just make the whole experience worthwhile. I plan on living to tell about it, so stay tuned and feel free to say a prayer for a brotha this week.

Destah Owens is a single father of two from Northern California and proud UCLA Bruin who travels the world for his job as a computer engineer. His blog, “Souffles in Saigon,” is exclusive to Urban Thought Collective.


Email This Post Email This Post

Leave a Comment

Comments

May 26th, 2008 at 2:05 am pmatters says:

My Dad was recently in Panama which boarders Columbia. He said it was really beautiful, enjoyed himself and came back in one piece.

May 26th, 2008 at 2:12 am Ashley says:

It’s great that you are not letting other peoples fears stop you. Enjoy yourself!

May 26th, 2008 at 5:12 am chica22 says:

fascinating entry. i’m interested to read how you found it beyond the caricatures & stereotypes. enjoy & embrace it. & i got the blaxican moniker too. :)

May 26th, 2008 at 6:52 am Regina Holloway says:

Okay, your boss is in Instanbul and you’re in Bogota and you have a colleague trapsing around Europe. So just what DOES an engineer do exactly?

May 26th, 2008 at 9:56 am young clean bastard says:

Who put this thing together? Me. Dats who! Who I trust? Me!

May 26th, 2008 at 10:22 am Erica Cross says:

wow.

May 26th, 2008 at 10:27 am buttabrown says:

Say hello to my lil friend!!

May 26th, 2008 at 10:42 am culturepop says:

HOW wonderful to be able to see all sides of life. can’t wait to hear how things turned out - that is if you get through customs brother

May 26th, 2008 at 12:03 pm heatmizer says:

In the words of the jackson five i wanna wanna be where you are! LMBAO

May 26th, 2008 at 1:36 pm thelma says:

You are one travelin brother. Can I go??

May 26th, 2008 at 10:22 pm UncleD says:

My favorite line in any movie ever =
I want what’s coming to me.
What’s coming to you?
The world and everything in it.

May 26th, 2008 at 10:23 pm UncleD says:

Said by one Tony Montana, of course.
Do your thing in Columbia, man.

May 27th, 2008 at 12:30 am Destah Owens says:

So far so good. My hotel is phat and Bogota looks like any other big city on a rainy night.
pmatters: it’s funny that you mention Panama because I’ve been there 3 times and absolutely love it. Everyone looks like me, and there’s plenty to do
Regina: I realized long ago that I’m not the lock-me-in-the-lab type engineer so I got on the sales team as soon as I could. I just make sure the sales guys don’t make anything up that I can’t really do when its time for the nuts and bolts to work. This is actually one of those set it up and make it do what it do trips, so wish me luck.
Uncle D: My 2 favorite Tony lines are “You don’t have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me.You need people like me so you can point your f*ckin’ fingers and say, “That’s the bad guy.” AND “That piece of sh*t up there, I never liked him, I never trusted him.” as his boy was being hung out of a helicopter and Tony was trying to keep his cool.

Last thing, then I gotta go to bed. When you get through customs and immigration, they run your bags through an x-ray on the way OUT of the airport, and some armed military cat picks people at random for pat downs. Seemed a little backward to me, but guess who got patted down…

Stay tuned…

May 27th, 2008 at 11:47 am madeuluk says:

GOOD MAN IN A STRANGE LAND — GOOD LUK HOMIE!

May 27th, 2008 at 12:39 pm SweetSis says:

I love your dispatches!!!!!! Keep em comin!

May 27th, 2008 at 1:30 pm Diallo Tyson says:

Enjoy your stay and work hard, but watch which chicks you holla at. You never know who’s sister or girlfriend you’re stepping to:)

May 28th, 2008 at 12:13 am Destah Owens says:

Diallo: Word! Been down that road in Panama. Unfortunately, they worked me like a slave today so I didn’t get to explore anything but some rush hour traffic that would make you yearn for the 405, a seafood restaurant, and my hotel room. Not to worry though, I’ve got a whole week left to get my Vasco de Gama on…

Related Material

Related Posts

Tag Cloud

Archival

Blog Archives by Month

Other UTC Blogs