Are You A Prostitute?
Can somebody, anybody, give me a clear, judgment free, but not overly P.C. definition of a prostitute?
Does the act of prostituting oneself simply come down to the exchange of sex for cold hard cash (ex-Governor Spitzer and his can’t hold a note ho), or do in-kind payments count? You know, like that Marc Jacobs bag, Gucci sneaks and diamond stud earrings you’ve been secretly hoping the rich guy/girl you’ve been hooking up with here and there buys for you?
What about someone who sleeps with their boss and gets a promotion out of it? Is that prostitution or business savvy?
Webster’s defines a prostitute as: n 1. One who solicits and accepts payment for sex.
Could Webster be any vaguer? Is there really any difference between taking yourself to the Mac store and buying an iPod, iPhone, et al, with the grand he/she left on the night stand, and letting he/she take you to the Mac store to pay for it themselves?
If I’m honest, I’d have to say the first option is preferable, if only because you own the property out right. The second scenario leaves you wide open for a “they who giveth, can taketh away” type situation.
On the face of it, cash left on the nightstand sounds cold, demeaning and tacky. Things we all imagine life as a prostitute to be. But a shopping spree? That’s what fairy tales are made of. Hello? Pretty Woman any one? Oh, wait. Julia Roberts played a straight up ho in that movie. Come to think of it, she got paid three grand cash and she got a shopping spree. Does that make her Superwoman or Superho? You can see why I’m confused.
And fellas, don’t slip on the math and think you’re getting a pass. Richard Gere only started the trend in American Gigolo, man ho’s everywhere are keeping the tradition alive. Prostitutes are not gender specific.
Even if they weren’t, what’s the big deal? When it comes down to it, what is so bad about spending a little naked time with someone you don’t really care for? We go to work every day, spending countless hours with a boss we can’t stand. We may be fully clothed, but that doesn’t make what certainly feels like penetration in our private parts anymore pleasant.
Maybe that’s it. Maybe prostitution isn’t so much about the money and how it’s paid out, but about the feelings the two consenting parties feel for each other?
If you love the person and they just so happen to buy you nice things or pay your bills vis-a-vis a direct deposit account, that sounds like a perfectly healthy romance to me, right?
If you just like the person, I’m guessing it’s still cool as long as the other party isn’t thinking it’s more. As long as they aren’t in love, hoping it will lead to marriage, and you’re just hoping it will lead to a higher credit rating.
If you could take or leave the person, but the sex is off the chain and you occasionally get thrown a reward because of it? Thumbs up from me. Sounds like a win-win for everybody.
But if you hate the person, they physically repulse you, and you still let them touch you like that, I’m thinking…ho…but…then again… I was always taught that everybody has a purpose. That not everybody is qualified to do everything. But everybody is qualified to do something. What if your something is to have sex with other people in exchange for favors, be it monetary or otherwise? Should you forever be branded a ho simply because you’re doing what you were put here on this earth to do?
There it is. I’ve just solved my problem with this whole prostitution thing. There’s nothing wrong with it for other people, but it’s simply not my path. And no matter how appealing it all my sound (I’m still pining away for a Marc Jacobs bag) it’s not what I was put on this earth to do. My calling lies elsewhere (hopefully on the New York Times bestseller list in which case I could buy my own MJ bag, but we’ll save that for another time).
And so I must be content to let this revelation suffice until such time as somebody, anybody comes up with a better story.
Tamara T. Gregory is a writer/producer/traveler. Happily single (yes, there really is such a thing), she is an expert on the dating game. Her debut novel, Passport Diaries, is an LA Times bestseller and is soon to become a Hollywood motion picture. The book is available at www.passportdiaries.com.
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