Urban Thought Collective

I know y’all heard about Jill Scott posing nude for Allure Magazine’s “Look Better Naked” May issue.

Coincidentally, I was talking to my fabulous friend Aisha (btw- I think all my friends are fabulous) about wanting to have the freedom of running around in my backyard nude. I’m not a homeowner, but I love the idea of having a home surrounded by trees and flowers and grass as far as I can see. I want to step outside and be one with nature.

Aisha said she wants to go to a nudist beach. I’m not there. I can’t imagine that much sharing! I applaud people who have that kind of confidence in their bodies. But I know me. I’m startled at the sight of high top fades and Jeri curls (I live in the south, go figure!). I can’t imagine what kind of face I would make seeing all kinds of flesh. I’ve learned the hard way that I have no control over my facial expressions.

This whole thing reminds me of one of my most embarrassing moments. It was a hot, 90 degree day, and I was walking around my top-floor apartment topless. The blinds were slightly open with the sun beaming in my living room. I thought the glare was casting a shadow. I was wrong.

I was eating pizza while walking past the window when I heard two of my neighbors. Here I am stuffing a slice down my throat and I hear, “Man!” “Damn!” I’m nosy so I wanted to see what they were looking at.

I realized they could see me. Beyond mortified, that situation just reinforced the fact that a nude beach just ain’t for me! At least not now anyway…

It’s one thing to be on a beach where everyone is nude. Jill Scott was the only one nude during her shoot. Just her, the photographer, make-up artist, hair stylist, and whoever else was working the shoot. Now, that’s heart.

It made me think of how we sometimes expect people to love parts of us that we dislike. Truthfully, we teach people how to love us through our example.

If I look at my stomach (as I often do) with disappointment, then how can I expect somebody else to adore it? I actually went to Aruba without a bathing suit! That’s when I knew I had to face myself.

Even when I fantasize about frolicking in my backyard, being one with nature, I envision myself with a slimmer, more toned body. Now that I think about it, all my visions of me are with slight alterations.

Sometimes I think it’s just me seeing how I want my future to be. Yet, I also believe there is some part of me that must love Yaminah as she is right now. All I have is now. Maybe that was Jill’s attitude. She is loving who she is right now, without the “but’s” and “if’s.” It must be liberating. Her big beautiful smile says so.

I’m dreaming of being brave like that.

Check out behind-the-scenes video of Jill Scott’s photo shoot.

Envisioning you with much love, light and fulfillment. See you next week.

Yaminah Ahmad is editor-in-chief of The Atlanta Voice and contributing editor to Collective Voices, a newspaper published by the non-profit, SisterSong: Women of Color Reproductive Health Collective. She can be reached at missyaminah@gmail.com.