Urban Thought Collective

SEMI-PRO (R)

MOVIE BIASES:
Will Ferrell and sports? Are you kidding me? Presold!

MAJOR PLAYERS:
Will Ferrell, Woody Harrelson, Andre Benjamin, and writer Scot Armstrong

Hear that? That’s the sound of a beaten, dead horse. Ferrell knows it as much, too, having admitted in an “Entertainment Weekly” article that he’s going to semi-retire from sports movies (off the top of my head, he’s done soccer, figure skating, basketball, NASCAR); “Semi-Pro” is case and point why it is time.

Disappointingly random, sometimes aimless, and always profane, “Semi-Pro” is a significant letdown from the Will Ferrell comedy camp. Silly more than funny, with ample doses of juvenile stabs at humor that seem dated in their attempts (script was by 2000’s “Road Trip” maestro Scot Armstrong; sorry, the teenage gross-out comedy is a lot smarter now, Scot), this movie is a fairly one-note sight gag (Look! Will Ferrell with a white afro! Look! People getting upset at “jive turkey!” Yawn.) that however (un)fairly mocks the decade of my birth as its superobjective. They invested more in the costume design than the raggedy plot, wedging in a lamebrain love story with Woody Harrelson’s (recycling Billy Hoyle’s “you’d rather look good and lose than look bad and win” demeanor from “White Men Can’t Jump”) Ed Monix and his old flame Lynn (Maura Tierney, using about one-tenth of her “ER” talent).

Even Ferrell’s performance feels scattershot and disinterested; his goofy commercials in character for Old Spice and Bud Light are far funnier than 90 percent of “Semi-Pro.” In fact, his glorious bushel of puffed up hair is more interesting. But when the movie’s throw-it-against-the-screen-and-see-what-sticks filmmaking hits, it can be pretty amusing (i.e. a hilarious man v. bear cage fight, trading a player for a washing machine, etc.).

And for a sports movie, the basketball is absolutely, unequivocally horrendous. (Total aside: Can someone explain to me why this movie is unnecessarily “R” when none of its language or gags needed the extra f*$%ing flavor? There’s no nudity, guns, or anything. New Line, I’m glad Time Warner’s pulling your card. You just cost yourselves an extra $15 million on the opening weekend with this rating…)

Part of me wondered if this movie would emerge as a cult classic upon repeated viewings, kinda like “Friday” and Ferrell’s previous ’70s send-up “Anchorman.” I remember tittering out of “Anchorman” like “What the hell was THAT?” but having had a few laughs along the way. It wasn’t that funny the first time but it gets funnier the more you watch it. It’s the type of movie that plays far better on DVD, having spawned not-so-grudging comedic respect from this critic (I even own it). Could “Semi-Pro” fare as well? To paraphrase the Tropics’ war cry, let’s NOT get tropical.

@@ REELS
(TWO REELS)
Extra medium.

Edwardo Jackson is the author of the novels EVER AFTER and NEVA HAFTA, (Villard/Random House), a writer for The 213 Magazine, and an LA-based screenwriter. Visit his website at www.edwardojackson.com where his new novel I DO? is available NOW.